It…’ I rubbed my arms. ‘I can’t deal with this, Nat, but….’I turned my back in her, unable to look at her anymore. ‘You can’t deal without me, either,’ she finished softly. I nodded. ‘Maybe you’re right, that I need someone, Nat, but…my life is upside the hell down now. All I think about is you. All I see is your face. All I feel is your touch. I’m going fucking insane.’ I heard her get up, felt her wrap her arms around me. ‘That’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me.’ She kissed the back of my neck. ‘Is it so hard to say, Monk? Here, I’ll start. I –‘ She didn’t finish. I spun in her arms, slapping one hand over her mouth before she could finish. ‘No.’ It was a whisper, a breath. ‘Not yet….I’m not ready for this, Nat. Please.’ Natalie pulled her head away with a hard shake. ‘When will you be ready, Monk? For the love of God, you need to know why, and then you need more time — can’t you just fucking accept? Can’t you just…let go?’ Her voice went from angry to plaintive.. It’s not that common, but if Deke was my grandfather, my Dad might not show it. Or me. And we don’t.”“Really? That’s a thing?”I nodded. “I used Google Scholar, read some reports, and it’s not that rare and certainly not impossible.”“Wow. So you might be Deke’s grandson?”I nodded again. “Yeah. I mean Sid’n’Dad? I always thought it was just personalities not meshing, but now? Lia, what if Sid wasn’t my grandfather?”Lia shook her head. “Sorry, but you’re wrong there. Okay I get what you’re saying Mister Science of Genetics, but nope, Sid was definitely your grandfather.”“You sound very sure of that?”“I am. Okay, so maybe your genetics might not be how you thought they were, but from everything you’ve told me, Sid did everything a grandfather’s meant to do. So even if he’s not your grandfather - and you’ve only that photo plus your Dad clashing with him - but even if he isn’t, he also is.”I smiled. “Thanks.”“Welcome. Why thanks?”“I don’t want to not be Sid’s grandson.”“Don’t worry. You.
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